Nearly, very nearly…

Now, even the lounge is a pile of empty furniture surrounded by drying paint. The only space to work in is sat on the double bed. The vinyl looks great and the carpet arrives tomorrow. Friday is the first anniversary of this blog… and by God’s grace we might be celebrating the total completion of the project and be “moving in”  - so please excuse me if I don’t do an anniversary posting!

In the meantime, my sanity is lacking (I just know I’m going to loose the calm exterior of “coping” at any moment) my family are fantastic and my vicar is brilliant – taking pity on me and agreeing to preach yet another sermon this Sunday (I’m meant to take the work-load off him, not the other way round!) It’s a shame – this weeks lectionary readings are fantastic ones, especially for services with Mothers’ Union links (we will be welcoming new members into the Mothers’ Union at our 9am and 11.15am services- including my husband!)

Amidst it all, the Diocesan Mothers’ Union newsletter ‘Archway’ is moving forward as are my postings on their website to inform members about our Wave of Prayer Diocese. The latest features include Kajo-Keji in southern Sudan where peace as well as literacy is needed, and Masasi in southern Tanzania.

A briefing birding highlight from Tuesday was a Wren, a Cole Tit and a pair of Siskin on the garden feeder – but since then I’ve not been in a position to look!

Improving relationships

Whilst the decorator is busy doing what he’s being paid for, we continue to live in chaos following our extension. There is a rumour that we can start “moving in” to our own home in ten-days time – but in the mean time live in it! Painting in the extension is complete, the vinyl floored areas will be complete by tomorrow, and the carpets for the other new rooms arrive next week. Getting to know the decorator is interesting; just we discovered a kindred interest in cricket, so I look at the score from Johannesburg and wished I hadn’t – rolled over for 180! Boys what ARE you doing?!

So in the midst of all this, I’ve been ‘working’. It’s the beginning of a new triennial in Mothers’ Union life, with people taking on new leadership roles, including in my case, Head of Marketing and Communication for Mother’s Union in the Diocese of Winchester! (Sounds grand, but till the last essay for University is out the way, I won’t really get to grips with living it out!)

Amongst the stuff I’ve been uploading to our Diocesan website, is a load of stuff to get us thinking about our relationships, as this years theme for Mothers’ Union is “Relationships Not Rules”. Much of the material would be really good for all sorts of home, prayer and Bible study groups, as well as some that just to help you take stock of your own personal relationships. It might be produced by Mothers’ Union but that just means everyone can use it! Do go visit the link and make use of it.

Mothers’ Union also have something called their “Wave of Prayer” which is also all about relationships – international ones! Each Diocese in which there are Mothers’ Union members  has a prayer support relationship with several other diocese, and once a year that little group form the centre of all the prayers of Mothers’ Union members (in 78 countries) worldwide for about 5 days. So I’m gradually updating the information we have about Winchester’s links which include the area of Kitgum in Northern Uganda – as they struggle to overcome nearly 20 years of war, they are struggling against drought, but still working to support family and community relationships by developing a seed bank.

I miss relationships. One of the most significant issues with both Reader Training and our extension, is that we’ve not had time for people, except to ask them favours (and there might be a few more of those asked in the next few days as I’m going to need a light fitting changed, and a radiator dropped for the decorator next week!) It will be really good to start using the new spaces, welcoming people for meals and generally having time for people again. Soon…

And my relationships with wildlife: well, walking the dog shows that there are still at least one Wrens alive on the heath, yesterday produced a lone Stonechat, and today an immature swan flew over heading towards Fleet Pond. There are also still some Fieldfares and Redwings along the lane. However, tussock field is a slog to walk round in the snow at present. I’m looking forward to more time with the wildlife too!

The great freeze – beauty and benefits

The snow falls heavily late evening 5th Jan 2010

Last nights dispersal of our Week of Prayer activities seems to have born fruit, enabling 20+ people to participate in groups, a significant number of whom would have struggled to make it to church, and an unknown number who would have taken part using the sheet in the privacy of their own homes at some point if not last night – I know of at least two of these folk. This evening, the exercise has been repeated (though I have spent the evening planning Sunday’s 9am Service I’m afraid).

After 24 hours of constant snow finally stopped at about 1foot depth, we have just experienced 22 hours without power and telephone! Thus no light, heat (except, thankfully for a gas fire in the lounge) internet or modern communication. At 6.50pm-ish last night a radiant light sizzled and travelled the length of Monteagle Lane, reflecting bright blue light against the snow laden trees as the local transformer blew. Fortunately as I had just put dinner on the plate!

Monteagle Lane, Yateley just after noon 6th Jan 2010 - it was still snowing!

It has brought home to all 3 of us just how much we forget to appreciate these things, and how much we can cope without when forced to. Since we have no gas cooking facilities, neighbours with them have done things like give us flasks of hot water for hot drinks and warmed our lunchtime soup. We are incredibly grateful and where possible have reciprocated with a supply of rock salt I had bought last week.

A fellow member of St. Peter’s has also commented via email how interesting it is that people will greet and talk to each other cheerfully in these conditions, who would otherwise ignore each other or be travelling by car and never meet. We’ve slowed down to appreciate the good things in life – and we know perhaps, that we should really be like this more often.

Life has been more hard work – shovelling a foot of snow from our garden path and an adjacent alley, kept us nice and warm this morning. Life has also been much more friendly, and slow moving… people are walking everywhere, and stopping to chat – sharing whatever info they have about the state of the supermarket shelves and the progress of the 8 men it took to rebuild the transformer which finally got us switched on about 4.35pm tonight.

A Honey-ball more than a snow-ball (please click on images to 'size up')

Then there is the beauty of the landscape, and the fun to be had in it. Our local fields have some good slopes and sledges have been put to good use (C has been lent a fantastic German wood model which has provided he and friends with hours of pleasure). Honey, the short legged terrier, has turned snow plow and doesn’t know when to stop, even when the icicles hang from her coat. She currently lies exhausted and asleep on our sofa.

The birds are having a tough time of it, but we’re trying to feed them and make sure they get fresh water each day… which might be a struggle tomorrow, as we’ve at least -8 degrees C forcaste tonight. A Mistlethrush has taken advantage of our water, and we’ve clouds of Goldfinches appreciating the thistle seed. The most notable bird event is a female Blackcap seen yesterday and the day before – so notable I was asked to log it on the BTO Birdatlas! Alas, no photo’s yet.

Mid-afternoon 7th Jan 2010 near the Red Cross Centre, Yateley

Church as Bride of Christ

The Bride of Christ - All Age Props and some shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child (Nov 09)

Today we have approximately 10″ of snow and counting – but it is also the mid-point in our Week of Prayer at  St. Peter’s Yateley.

Today we should be considering how we are church, and should be church, through the imagery of the Bride of Christ. This was something on which I preached recently but I don’t think I posted it… my All Age Sermon notes on the theme are here:  Sermon Rev21v1-5 (All Age Talks) If you want to look at them to see where I’ve got the following questions from, remember they are notes, and also that it was a service where the children shared in everything.

There are thoughts as to how we might make this evenings prayer meeting happen – possibly in local homes – and we’ll announce that this afternoon, but in the mean time here are a few of my thoughts for those people in Yateley who are thinking and praying about the future of St. Peter’s this week:

Readings: Revelation 21:1-9 and Isaiah 62:1-5

Israel was an unfaithful bride (Jeremiah 3:6 and Matthew 12:38-9) – in what ways are we as a church being unfaithful to our bridegroom (God)?

Our Bridegroom is Jesus – Jesus death on the cross was also the price paid for us to enable us to be his bride. What will it cost us to let God get us as a church into a fitting state to be Jesus’ bride? What needs to be polished or cut off to make us sparkle as ‘a crown of splendour’ (Isaiah 62:3) fitting to take Jesus’ (our Lord’s) hand?

No bride prepares themselves without help – it is God that is preparing us, he will help us create that sparkle with which he wants us to serve Jesus as his bride. What does God want to adorn us with?

Married couples share tasks – sometimes doing them together, sometimes supporting each other by doing different tasks. What are the tasks that we should be concentrating on as we work alongside Jesus in Yateley – without putting the church family in debt? What are the values our marriage to Jesus places on us when we think about how we should be carrying them out?

While I dwell on those questions I shall walk the dog in the snow. What are your thoughts?

UPDATE: There are 8 venues around Yateley for people to pray, one is the church, the others are private homes. Attached is the prayer sheet that you can use to guide your prayers either at one of those venues or in your own home. God bless and stay safe: St Ps Week of Prayer Bride of Christ – Snowbound Prayers Worksheet

10 weeks not 10 years

A dove from the Forest Stations by William Fairbank (Lincoln 2007)

Catching up on emails, blogs and such like in an exhaustion break from decorating, which itself fills a break from preaching or leading services this week.

I haven’t reflected on the last decade, nor on what the next might hold. I just keep looking at the next 10 weeks – ish and looking for my dove of peace.

Will we ever get decorated, carpeted and straight I wonder? There are folk that are stepping in to help in different ways to whom I’m very grateful, but at present the control-freak in me wants to return to complete the final piece of work and start ministry ‘properly’ is losing the battle against a tide of clutter. After three years of study and 6 months of domestic chaos, the appeal of my old crafts and gardening habits is becoming stronger, but less and less possible.

How can we get straight when

• a small area of damp has seeped into a newly painted wall in Cs room, after several attempts by the builders to eradicate the problem possibly connected with the parapet above it
• G has a pile of coursework marking that will restrict the time he has to help after tomorrow to nearly ‘nill’ except on Saturdays
• my next two Saturday ‘family days’ are full of important church things (working on the parish vision at the end of our Week of Prayer, and the next ‘Growing Leaders’ day session)
• starting work on my Independent Study Module (6000 words) that I met my tutor about last Thursday and which I need to submit the paperwork to the Uni for by next Friday (due in end of March)
• there is lots of exciting things to do with celebrating marriage and encouraging couples to get married in church and undertake marriage prep which I need to focus on in the parish, especially in the run up to Valentines Day (a Sunday this year)
• [Update - and I've just realised I've 'Archway' to produce for MU this month!]

I was struck just now by Andy’s New Year greeting and image about the path of faith being a wavy one: my path is very very wavy (as regular readers will have realised), and at times it feels like I’m a long way from that empty cross, then something happens that resurrects my sense of the faith that I never lose but sometimes gets hidden under the piles that life forms on top of it. At present, it’s back under the piles of life.

Hopefully the new term, the return to a regular regime of prayer and ministry, and some resolving of technical decorating issues, will make the next 10 weeks fly past towards some resolution of these things, rather than more of the same and continued chaos.

My hope is that your New Year is a little calmer and less fraught than mine.

A talkative angel… at Christmas

An angel in the 'Compton Window' in the South Transept of Minstead Church

It’s funny how sermons can change… I barely mentioned donkey’s on Christmas morning!

And I’d been led to believe the smallish congregation wouldn’t have many kids… and of the nearly 40 people 18 were children… at least 8 of them grandchildren visiting one set of grandparents!

What I actually shared was the idea of looking in the face of God (including a brief quotation from Trevor Dennis’s “Three Faces of Jesus”… thanks to a Licensing gift) and the idea that there was lots of talking in the Luke 2:1-20 Christmas Day reading, and on a modern Christmas Day. But what are you talking about this Christmas?

It was in fact a re-hash of something I did for an assignment back last Christmas (though even then partly with Minstead in mind), but had never been used as a live sermon outside tutorial. It was a little autobiographical especially to the venue, and getting the kids to blow a post-horn was quite fun.

With Thomas-the-Tank-Engine being used to remodel pews, and a Jack Russell tied to a tombstone on a long-line but sat barking in the church porch, (as well as suffering from a cold) it was a difficult service and sermon to deliver, but it seemed to get a reasonably positive response.

If you want a read of what the notes said (which wasn’t totally how it was delivered, but hey…) please click to download: Christmas Morning 2009 – Talks

The occasion was also the first since licensing when I wore robes – I was jolly glad of them as they kept me warm! Though without them, I’d have worn more layers… I didn’t want to look too fat!

The back of Minstead Church - Christmas Morning 2009

The Christmas round of visiting parents has been a welcome break from looking at the decorating work that needs to be completed. It has been good to have family time with the folk we are closest too. Everything from walks watching Fallow Deer near Mogshade in the New Forest, to playing ‘Hare and Tortoise’ was much enjoyed. As was Uncle’s always excellent champagne. It’s a pity that the oldest is now to frail to join us, but she wasn’t left out, though I think our brief visit was tiring. Sometimes people feel they’ve just had too many Christmas’s and want to move on.

The young man of the family has delighted everyone in different ways, and been chuffed to bits with the presents he got – a very Ray Mears themed Christmas this year, and he’s already completed one lovely rough spoon in a piece of old oak he had been dreaming of working on.

Between journeys we’ve made a start and tonight completed the painting his new high ceiling bit of his room! Tomorrow we have a date with a lot of walls!!

I hope you have had something good from God to talk about this Christmas.

Sparce Christmas and no donkey

Holly in the snow

One of the decisions we made early on in the building process, was that we would not have any Christmas decorations up this year – so no tree, only a few cards up (the one permanent string that hangs cards for all celebrations), and few sprigs of holly over the pictures, simply because Dad collected it with me a week ago from some pre-cut by others for some new fencing in the ‘tussocky field’.

Time and money is limited, so we’ve drastically reduced who we are sending Christmas cards to this year (Church and MU friends have had a verbal explanation) and those relatives and friends to whom we do want to send our Christmas letter, will need to be patient – it will probably arrive in the New Year!

There is a steady flow of services to plan for. This morning I led a Family Worship at 9am for the Fourth Sunday in Advent, and I’ve just finished preparing for Wednesday’s 11am Morning Prayer. What I need to do now is focus on Christmas Day itself, when I hope to be leading and preaching at an All Age Christmas Morning Service in Minstead – the other end of the Diocese but where I grew up.

St. Peter’s has been decorated for the last week, partly for the several schools that use it for their Christmas nativity/concerts, and partly because last Sunday all our services had candles in them, from the 8am Communion by Candlelight in the chapel (that I led part of and preached at) through two Christingle services (at two venues) and various Advent/Carol Services at our other congregations. Though less ‘candle orientated’ today I was able to light the four candles on our Advent ‘ring’. I love the glow and smell of candle-light, even in an otherwise well lit room.

Among all this, and the snow and ice, I have been very struck about how wonderful it is to be in Church, following in these last two weeks of Advent the increasing anticipation of that Christmas birth. Having so sparce a Christmas at home, has made me look forward even more than normal to the times of worship at church, as well as allowing a little for the different stresses of decorating. And I’m hungry for the space to appreciate some new nuances to the Christmas stories even more, though I suspect that will not happen until after Christmas Day, when I’m promising myself serious time with Trevor Dennis’s ‘The Christmas Stories’  (though I might just dip into it to inspire Christmas morning).

I am thinking of focusing on what is missing from the ‘Christmas Story’ we think we know so well, when we read closely Luke 2:1-20… where, for example, is the donkey that features in so many pictures, and nativity plays? There are good reasons why Mary probably did ride on a donkey to Bethlehem (I heavily pregnant woman would be unlikely to walk the 80 mile journey from Nazareth) but what else have we added into our Christmas’s? The cards, the tree, the flashing lights … should they be part of the story too?

The cards and ‘circular letter’ – are they a chore, or a way of staying connected and in community with people we know and love, and wish to remember even if we’ve not seen them in… too long! The God of love that came at Christmas, came for all people, surely then he would want us to remember all people as we celebrate his coming?

The Christmas tree – probably more common now than a nativity set, is a living thing (at least until we cut it down) that comes into our homes, as Christ came as our living Lord into the world and wants to be present in our homes.

The lights on the tree, or on the house – a personal pet hate in the latter instance, but Jesus was after all the light of the world… it’s just a pity this form causes so much light pollution! Did you know there is now a Christmas Nativity done in lights? I could almost be tempted  (but not quite) be tempted next year.

But with so much added in, that I struggle to find some Christian symbolism in, what has been crowded out?

Technical problems and questions

I’ve been a bit off-line for the last week.

Firstly it wasn’t helped by the laptop developing corrupted Windows. Was it a virus – even the shop it came from wasn’t sure, but a complete overwrite was necessary, so woops there goes everything on the hard-drive! Fortunately hero husband had managed to back everything up onto our PC as it died, so no loss, just lots of hastle time re-loading stuff when we got it back, though it has helped to concentrate the mind about what to put back on it!

Here’s the first question then: We run Norton antivirus currently, have done for several years, and this is the first possible virus we’ve encountered. The shop we got it (and the laptop) from, now reckon that Mcafee is far better and cheaper per machine. For those blog readers who dare to use Windows… what is your current experience of either Mcafee or Norton (or anything else) for anti-virus software?

(And yes, I know if we ran a sensible operating system we wouldn’t have the problem… but needs must… )

So on the PC I managed to complete my final Reader Training essay, and submitted it yesterday. All I have to do is complete 6000 words of extended essay by Easter, but I discovered today my ‘tutor’ for it is a man I’ve got to trust and like during training, so I at least know I’ll get good guidance.

The other technical issue that’s exercising the brain is this. We’ve started using Google Calandar as a family to keep track of what each of us is doing and be able to see each others commitments. BUT it means that my old PDA Palm Tungston E which I’ve used with great joy for several years, isn’t getting updated regularly, thus my portable diary is er… out of date. Not helpful – and I don’t carry my brick of laptop around in my handbag whilst I do carry round my Palm.

Family budget constraints (see ‘extension’ tag!) mean that buying an ‘all singing, all dancing’ phone isn’t an option for the foreseeable future (and I’m quite happy with Nokia clamshell with the internet disabled so I still ‘pay and go’). So, (how) can I get GoogleCal to talk to a format that talks to Palm? (I don’t think Palm talks to Outlook, least it didn’t last time we looked.)

Or am I just too big a dinosaur?

In the meantime, today  I started on Chris’s room… sanded all the new plaster on the walls, and filled the odd discrepancy that resulted, plus the crack between the skirting board and the walls, with builders caulk. All dress in a very old flying suit I was given for decorating in, many years ago. I was impressed it still fitted.

Will try and catch up on some less boring, less technical thoughts over the next few days, but have plenty else to do – ’tis the season to be busy… 3 services in the next week to fit in the planning for round decorating.

Responding with commitment – those Winchester cuts!

Right Revd Michael Scott-Joynt at MU/pre-Lambeth service, Winchester Cathedral 2008

Last Sunday every congregation in the Diocese of Winchester should have had read to them in full, the Pastoral Letter issued by Right Revd’s Michael Scott-Joynt (Bishop of Winchester – pictured) and Trevor Willmott (outgoing Bishop of Basingstoke). It followed up the previous weeks Diocesan Synod meeting that made £1million+ cuts to the budget, by cutting a range of clergy and lay posts which I’ve posted about previously here and here.

I’m not sure if you can here the heartbreak in the words “we much regret”, but I am quite sure it is there. The hurt is probably in the fact that they feel they have no other choice. Certainly the Diocesan Synod had to attempt to balance the books. Where the cuts had to be made can, has and will be further debated I’m sure. It is good at least to see the acknowledgement that where possible other solutions will be sought.

I wonder how much those of us who sit in the pews of the Diocese can echo the sentiment “we much regret” with a reasonably clear concience, having contributed all they are able to the ministries that are among those most valuable to our shared mission in Christ in the region. This household has now increased its giving twice this year, most recently following all this news, but can’t go further. Whether or not you live in the Diocese of Winchester, your own church leadership are probably facing similar decisions to Winchester’s: can you help by responding with commitment?

What I wonder though is if the Pastoral Letter itself was used as effectively as it might be? I missed the reading of it here in St. Peter’s (I was preaching at HMP Winchester) but I understand from G that the most was not made of it at one service at least:

• the full impact of the cuts on our parish (we won’t get a curate next year unless unexpected giving allows the Diocese to rescind the cuts in stipendiary curates) was not explained;
• the congregation were not directed towards the inside features of our church newsletter ‘Crucial’ (bottom of page 2) issued that morning that highlighted some of issues and actions required to change the situation;
• there was not a call to prayer or action, but rather the service simply ended with a song.

There may well have been good reason for this, as I suspect the service leader was not privy to the contents of the letter and possibly not the background to it, so would have been ill equipped to respond appropriately (one of the problems in a parish with so much lay leadership is communications). But was an opportunity missed?

Further afield, but still within the Diocese, I now know that in one parish the vicar forgot to bring the letter with him, tried to give a precis of it, and didn’t attempt to explain any background, or suggest prayer or action. According to the first-hand source, the impact possible, was totally lost.

It is a pity that “proclaiming the mystery of Christ” costs money, but we have to connect that Gospel with the world we live in. Where is our commitment? Partnership in the Gospel surely requires us to make the most of every opportunity, and that our conversation be full of grace ? (Colossians 4:2-6) We have to live with the fact that ‘grace’, though freely given by God, is not always easy to either offer or receive.

Preparing the way – positives and negatives in prison

I spent yesterday morning with a few other Mothers’ Union members and 5 really welcoming chaps I’d never met before – in the surroundings of the West Hill Wing Chapel of HMP Winchester. The Chapel serves the men who are living in the wing as they are nearing the end of their time and preparing for release. Going to chapel must make the guys stand out as within the life of the wing, it is very much an optional extra – they are free of their cells most of the day, so chapel is not simply used as as a ‘get out’ clause. The population of the wing is also really transient, so Mothers’ Union members who regularly go to West Hill on the first Sunday of the month, rarely get to see the same faces regularly.

I found it quite poignant preparing a sermon which was in part based on Phillipians 1:3-11 (as well as Luke 3:1-6) a letter of joy written by Paul after receiving a gift whilst in prison. Although preaching at West Hill was one of the things that led me into Reader Training (because I felt ill-equipped for either the preaching or the environment), I’ve not been back for a couple of years. Although I felt better equipped to write a sermon, my life experiences are so relatively good that I continue to fear I have little to offer. But spending time with these guys reminded my the sheer fact of taking the time to be there with them, and listen to the stories during refreshments after the service, shows that people care – coming into their world and being among them… a small token of what Jesus did for us! A hope-bringing Advent thought for them, and me.

If you’re even faintly interested my sermon is here (comments welcome): Sermon Phill1v3-11andLk3v1-6 HMP6-12-09

G, the Baptist Minister who led the service, did something that hasn’t happened on previous visits – after the intercessions he talked to the men updating the issues currently affecting them, and then prayed specifically for those issues. I was great to pray into specific situations affecting them, but it was also a really useful tool to give us visitors a ‘heads-up’ on things that the men would want to talk about with us after the service. Thanks G – much appreciated.

My sermon was very much on how we need to prepare ourselves for God, but also that it’s actually God that we’re inviting to make the preparations. These guys were all preparing to leave and so the things they were talking about afterwards were the preparations they are trying to make for when they get out sometime in the New Year.

J had become a Dad whilst in prison and wants to make a life for his family. He didn’t come from a lifetime of crime, but had spent 18months inside because of one rash moment that had disastrous consequences, losing his job being the least of them. He’s taken prison as an opportunity to learn new skills and prepare himself to earn money in any job he can get, but the Probation Service won’t let him return to the community he and his partner grew up in. Although he sort of understands why (I’m deliberately not going into detail) it means uprooting his partner, and their child to make a new life somewhere – but the Probation Service haven’t told him where he can or must go, so currently neither he or his partner can make preparations, something the Chaplaincy are trying to support him through.

I had a long chat with K – his brother died last week, and he will be allowed out to attend the funeral on Wednesday. This is Ks third spell in prison – the shortest, but the one that has made the most difference. He’s sure prison has saved his life. He reckons he’s kicked the drug habit that caused his partner to die of an overdose in the hostel they lived in before this spell – and even more movingly he told me how he’s been able to forgive his father (now dead) for a childhood of hatred. Despite his recent loss he radiated joy at the sense of release he’s found from the past because he’s been able to forgive. He’s looking forward to returning to family life he’s not participated in for many years, and especially to seeing grandchildren he hardly knows.

I thought the stories worth sharing as I think it’s important we try and understand the issues these chaps face whilst ‘paying’ for their crimes, and don’t think I’ve said anything that will stop me being asked back. I’m delighted the colleague I took with me will offer to join the preaching rota for Mothers’ Union – thanks E! Next year, I’m hoping to attend the ‘presentation day’ of the restorative justice scheme at HMP Winchester run by the Church Army Community Chaplain – there’s more about this at www.muwinchester.org.uk – a day I think will prove quiet emotional.