Spiritual Battleground

There is just so much stuff in my head at present, I’m really struggling to sift out the important, the possible, oh and write my Theological Reflection on my Placement.

This morning I read an article in the Reader Magazine about the disciplines of spiritual formation, something I’m rubbish at. It referred to and reminded me of Renovare, leaders in the field but with whom I’ve not really managed to connect in the UK. But, more important it led me to a lot of muddled thoughts. Here are the ones I’m trying to hang on to, but where do I start?

  • I enjoyed the pace and space of All Saints, Basingstoke on placement but here at my home parish, church life is so much more frenetic – how can I successful combine the one into the other?;
  • I think I’ve been using the blog/s as an outlet for my urge to be creative, because I’ve not had time to sew or silk paint whilst training… I’m really missing the silk paints in particular and came up with an idea for wall hangings on our pillars in St. Ps… but having packed up for the builders all the kit is now in Dads garage, and I’ve loads of other things I must do… (has anyone else considered blogging as a creative arts movement?) There is something about doing something creative which allows space for God to act in your inner core… I think… and I’m sure that’s part of my problems;
  • My thought about prayer to close baptism visits (see update on previous post) led me to acknowledge that despite my professed calling, I have rarely if ever shown practically my spirituality publicly to non-Christians… it’s going need God to take some really direct and ‘Grace-Full’ action to act within me, so that I can fulfill what feels like a dammed up river inside me… to whit I need prayer myself – I failed to respond to these types of thoughts many times before;
  • During the night, after those thoughts about prayer and me needing to be filled started, the pain levels suddenly and inexplicably returned (small painful medical niggle you don’t need to know the details of – not life threatening) having been much, much better for 2-3 days… are these facts linked? I’ve just read back my 2003 diary, when I had similar problems over > 6 months, at a time when there was a lot of new stuff going on… a period when my life in parish and MU was just beginning to grow and develop… I wouldn’t have called it a ministry then! Could the fact that the same problems have appeared again be linked with these concluding months of Reader Training, the beginnings of parochial ministry, and a possible impending role change in Mothers’ Union within the diocese?

That will do for now… I’ll be brave and post this via Facebook… would welcome comments or ideas on the blog, then they are saved for future reference and use.



  1. Had a brief conversation with my spiritual director by phone today – two things she left me with (we don’t meet till early June):

    Psalm 42 and 43

    “God’s timescale is tough”


  2. Have you been to Lee Abbey in Devon? It’s a beautiful place where God speaks into your situation. There’s a week coming up 19-23 September on Pastoral Care in today’s church led by Bishop George Cassidy and Glyn Harrison. Bishop George is a lovely man and an excellent bible teacher, and i expect, a listening ear


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